IELTS Writing Topic: Parents be obliged to immunise their children.

วันนี้ขอนำเอาตัวอย่างงานเขียน Task 2 ของกาารสอบ IELTS ซึ่งไม่เคยนำมาเป็นตัวอย่างมาก่อน

มาฝากน้องๆกันนะคะ เป็นเรื่องเกี่ยวกับการฉีดวัคซีนในเด็ก ใครยังไม่เคยลองเขียนในหัวข้อนี้ ลองมาดูกันเลยดีกว่าค่ะ

Should parents be obliged to immunise their children against childhood diseases? Or do individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children?

infantimmunizationเป็นอย่างไรบ้างคะ หัวข้อนี้น่าสนใจทีเดียวเลยใช่ไหมคะ ลองมาดูไอเดียในการเขียนของน้องคนหนึ่งกันดีกว่าค่ะ

Nowadays, immunization plays an important role in the medical prevention from some sicknesses. Whether or not every child must be vaccinated is often debated. Personally, I believe that parents ought to be forced to prevent their kids from diseases through immunization for two reasons.

Admittedly, some parents may think it is unnecessary vaccinating their kids as long as they monitor their children closely on their eating habits and exercising routines. Moreover, it would be a waste of time and money on the medical prevention.

However, I believe that immunizing children must be an obligation due to their lower performances of self-immunity. Therefore, these kids might get diseases easier and come up with more severe symptoms than adults whose immune systems are more effective fighting against pathogens. That is why receiving vaccines, serums, and toxoids is vital for all children at particular ages.

Another reason is that it could lead to the disease transmission if a child infected by transmitted germs go to school or other public places, the disease will possibly be widespread to larger communities via breathing or direct contact. Following this, more and more people would be sick and this might be more difficult to treat the ailment in case that the pathogens become resistant to antibiotics and other medicines. Also, the government or health-related organization would have to spend budgets on further medical researches and some preventative measures.

To sum up, in order to prevent these kids themselves from childhood illnesses in advance and the transmission of diseases, the immunization must be compulsory to all parents.

IELTS Institute

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เฉลยการเขียน ielts ในหัวข้อ live or work without Computer

คราวที่แล้วพี่ได้นำหัวข้อเรื่อง Live or work without Computer ที่น่าสนใจมาฝากกัน ไม่รู้มีน้องๆส่งงานเขียน IELTS Writing เข้ามากันบ้างไหม วันนี้พี่ขอนำเฉลยและคำแนะนำดีๆจาก IELTS Examiner มาฝากกันนะคะ ส่วนใครที่ยังไม่เคยเขียนไปดูหัวข้อ Writing คราวที่แล้วได้จากหัวข้อด้านล่างนี้เลยค่ะ

ฝึกเขียน IELTS Essay : หัวข้อ live or work without Computer

Some people believe that computers are more a hindrance than a help in today’s world. Other feel that they are such indispensible tools that they would not be able to live or work without them. In what way are computers a hindrance? What is your opinion?

At present, some individuals believe that computers are more an obstacle than a supportive while others believe that they are necessary equipment that they could not live or work without them. Although computers make people calculate mathematicsslowly and be bad at remembering things and lazy at memorization, they are necessary tools for several workers. The computer’s benefits, from where I stand, outweigh the drawbacks absolutely.

First of all, if citizens often use computers, their brain will not practice in calculating math or remembering things. As a result, they would not be able to give the change correctly when their customers buy their products and pay them by cash. Furthermore, they may forget the lists they need to purchase such as some medicines for their parents, certain milk for their babies, and so on. Take my father as an example. His job was selling stationeriesy, and he always used his notebook for work. However, he could not remember where he had laid down the goods in on shelves. When a client ordered a dozen of files, he asked my mother from which shelf he could pick up the files even though my mother had never used the a computer. This was because she noticed his behavior all the time.

On the other hand, computers are significantly useful equipment for many business and human’s lives. Not only can children can use them for their education, but also adults can use them for their jobs. Moreover, some teenagers use computers to increase good relationship among their friends and find their soul mates. For example, my young brother uses his personal computers to share his pictures and update his status in social media websites such as Facebook every day. Sometimes, he finds a new job on online job-hunter web browsers. This makes him very happy in his work and life.

In conclusion, I strongly agree that computers are essential tools for users and their positive impacts are more than negative ones. The more people use computers, the more advantages they get.

 

(Estimate IELTS Band Score: 6.5)

IELTS Examiner Comments:
I question your example of your father. It does not convince me that computers are the cause of his memory loss. It could very well be his age instead. Be careful with what kind of examples you choose as they must carry some significant truth to them. In terms of grammar, this was excellent!

IELTS Institute Team

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ฝึกเขียน IELTS Essay : หัวข้อ live or work without Computer

ในขณะนี้สังคมทั่วโลกชินกับการใช้พวกไอทีอย่างคอมพิวเตอร์ แท็บเล็ต และสมาร์ทโฟนในการท่องโลกอินเตอร์เน็ต ดูหนัง ฟังเพลง และชม Content ต่างๆ แต่ถ้าสมมุติว่า Computer หายจากโลกนี้ไป หรือไม่มีComputer ใช้เลยนับจากนี้ จะเกิดอะไรขึ้นบ้าง? วันนี้ IELTS Examiner ชวนให้น้องๆลองเขียนหัวข้อ Essay ที่เกี่ยวกับความสำคัญของคอมพิวเตอร์กันค่ะ

work_home_play_modern_life_

Some people believe that computers are more a hindrance than a help in today’s world. Other feel that they are such indispensible tools that they would not be able to live or work without them. In what way are computers a hindrance? What is your opinion?

At present, some individuals believe that computers are more an obstacle than a support while others believe that they are necessary equipment that they could live or work without them. Although computers make people calculate mathematicsslowly and be bad at remembering things, they are necessary tools for several workers. The computer’s benefits, from where I stand, outweigh drawbacks absolutely.

First of all, if citizens often use computers, their brain will not practice in calculating math or remembering things. As a result, they would not be able to give the change correctly when their customers buy their products and pay them by cash. Furthermore, they may forget the lists they need to purchase such as some medicines for their parents, certain milk for their babies, and so on. Take my father as an example. His job was selling stationeries, and he always used his notebook for work. However, he could not remember where he had laid down the goods in shelves. When a client ordered a dozen of files, he asked my mother which shelf he could pick up the files even though my mother had never use the computer. This was because she noticed his behavior all the time.

On the other hand, computers are significantly useful equipment for many business and human’s lives. Not only children can use them for their education, but also adults can use them for their jobs. Moreover, some teenagers use computers to increase good relationship among their friends and find their soul mates.For example, my young brother uses his personal computers to share his pictures and update his status in social media websites such as Facebook every day. Sometimes, he finds a new job on online job-hunter web browsers. This makes him very happy in his work and life.

In conclusion, I strongly agree that computers are essential tools for users and their positive impacts are more than negative ones. The more people use computers, the more advantages they get.

คราวหน้า พี่จะนำเฉลยมาฝากน้องๆนะคะ คอยติดตามชมค่ะ ^^

IELTS Institute

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IELTS Writing: เฉลยงานเขียนในหัวข้อเกี่ยวกับ reform criminals นะคะ

คราวที่แล้วเราได้หัวข้อที่เกี่ยวกับบทลงโทษอาชญากรไป คิดว่าหลายๆคนคงได้มีโอกาสลองเขียน IELTS Essay ส่งมาให้อาจารย์ IELTS Examiner ตรวจกันบ้างแล้วนะคะ วันนี้พี่ขอนำตัวเฉลยงานเขียนซึ่งเป็นตัวอย่างของน้องในคลาส IELTS มาฝากกันค่ะ ใครยังไม่เคยเขียนลองเข้าไปดูที่ Link ด้านล่างได้เลยค่ะ

ฝึกเขียนหัวข้อ reform criminals ในการสอบ IELTS

Question: It is better to reform criminals instead of just punishing them. What measures could be taken to attempt to integrate law-breakers back into society.

At present, it is generally claimed it is often thought that criminals should be eliminated from society by punishing them in many ways such as sending them into to prisons and adjudicating them a in the worst cases, applying the death penalty. However, from my point of view, reorganizing rehabitating criminals instead of just penalizing them would be a better way to harmonize bring law-breakers back into society. This essay will examine the feasible measures which can transform violent criminals to be integrated smoothly with back into society.

There are several measures that could be taken to attempt to integrate delinquent people back into society. First and foremost, the government should take into consideration imposing high tariffs fines to outlawed peoplecriminals, forcing them to paying pay for the rest of their life lives, depending on the type of crime. ThereforeAs a result, law-breakers would scare be scared to be fined and aware of loosing their money, so they would fear to commit a crime or do illegal acts. Obviously, this measure would not send criminals to the cells behind bars, but use the a compromiseding way from forfeiting money instead way regarding money.

Moreover, giving a chance to criminals to do various activities for improving society to be better is regarded as the a significant measure not to deter keep them from society. For example, numerous activities, which lead to such as planting trees around the factory areas, constructing the government buildings or public places such as parks and hospitals, and cleaning dirty roads etc., would contribute a commiseration from individuals for the criminals benefit the community. In addition, the government also should also set a practical policy about changing the company’s customs views to have an open mind for criminals to hire ex-convicts who aim to work in the company. Sympathy is the feeling that owners of the companyies should have for criminals, so they would be treated equally with guiltless people.

Having stated the methods of how to harmonize law-breakers back into society, it is my opinion to prove that criminals should be offered an opportunity to reform themselves by doing worthwhile activities for society and as well as for the country since they are all humans like us. From where I stand, it is the responsibility of the government to legislate reasonable laws in order to help the criminals to have a better life in society. <– very good

Overall IELTS Band Score: 6.0

IELTS Examiner‘s Comments:

Your conclusion is excellent and practically error-free. This is not the case for your body paragraphs, especially the second one. Your weakness is vocabulary and although you are trying your best in this regard, I suggest you be careful with it. Learn from the corrections and keep studying.

IELTSInstitute Team

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ฝึกเขียนหัวข้อ reform criminals ในการสอบ IELTS

ในปัจจุบันอัตราการเกิดอาชญากรรมมีแนวโน้มเพิ่มมากขึ้นทุกปี น้องๆคิดว่าเราควรที่จะลงโทษเหล่าอาชญากรหรือเราควรจะมีวิธีการในการปรับเปลี่ยนพฤติกรรมคนเหล่านี้กันคะ? ลองมาเขียน IELTS Essay ในหัวข้อเหล่านี้กันดูดีกว่าค่ะ

criminal_justice_reform

It is better to reform criminals instead of just punishing them. What measures could be taken to attempt to integrate law-breakers back into society.

ครั้งนี้พิเศษตรงที่ Examiner ให้ Outline ที่เราควรจะเขียน Discuss ในหัวข้อมาด้วยนะคะ

Outline:
1. Briefly talk about the increase in crime rates.
2. Describe the advantages of punishing criminals.
- It may prevent the criminal from repeating his offence.
- It is a form of retribution.

3. Describe the disadvantages of punishing criminals.
- There could be particular reasons for the crime.

4. Describe the advantages of reforming criminals.
- It is a more humane approach.

5. Describe the disadvantages of reforming criminals.
- Some criminals may pretend to have psychological problems to escape punishment.

6. Briefly conclude that a combination of the two approaches is the solution.

ลองมาดูตัวอย่างที่เพื่อนๆใน IELTS Class เขียนมานะคะ

At present, it is generally claimed that criminals should be eliminated from society by punishing them in many ways such as sending them into prisons and adjudicating them a death penalty. However, from my point of view, reorganizing criminals instead of just penalizing them would be a better way to harmonize law-breakers back into society. This essay will examine the feasible measures which can transform violent criminals to be integrated smoothly with society.

There are several measures that could be taken to attempt to integrate delinquent people back into society. First and foremost, the government should take into consideration imposing high tariffs to outlawed people, forcing them to paying for the rest of their life, depending on the type of crime. Therefore, law-breakers would scare to be fined and aware of loosing their money, so they would fear to commit a crime or do illegal acts. Obviously, this measure would not send criminals to the cells but use the compromised way from forfeiting money instead.

Moreover, giving a chance to criminals to do various activities for improving society to be better is regarded as the significant measure not to deter them from society. For example, numerous activities, which lead to planting trees around the factory areas, constructing the government buildings or public places such as parks and hospitals, and cleaning dirty roads etc., would contribute a commiseration from individuals for the criminals. In addition, the government also should set a practical policy about changing the company’s customs to have an open mind for criminals who aim to work in the company. Sympathy is the feeling that owner of the company should have for criminals, so they would be treated equally with guiltless people.

Having stated the methods of how to harmonize law-breakers back into society, it is my opinion to prove that criminals should be offered an opportunity to reform themselves by doing worthwhile activities for society and as well as for the country since they are all humans like us. From where I stand, it is the responsibility of the government to legislate reasonable laws in order to help the criminals to have a better life in society.

IELTS Institute Team

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