IELTS Topic: Young drug abuse

Posted on พฤษภาคม 16, 2012 by Staff

ช่วงนี้เมืองไทยมีข่าวเกี่ยวกับยาบ้าค่อนข้างมาก มีการจับผู้ขายสารซูโดอีเฟดรีน ซึ่งมีนักการเมืองขาใหญ่อยู่เบื้องหลัง วันนี้พี่เลยนำหัวข้อซึ่งเคยเป็นข้อสอบมาให้น้องๆได้ทดลองเขียนดูนะคะ

ielts

Young drug abuse is a serious problem nowadays in many countries. What are the reasons for this and what can be done to combat it?

Currently, drug addicted in adolescence is a crisis issue in many states. There are many factors contributing to this predicament such as friends, median and lack of parents attention. This essay will describe some of the factors involved with this issue, and some approaches for resolving this obstacle.

One of the main reasons for the teenage drug misuse is that the majority of juvenile imitate their counterparts. For instance, in a group of young drug abuse; one have to use drug same as another peers. Additionally, these bring about other problems like crime, robbery in the present day society; widely affected on the forthcoming period. Thus, friends is the one and important determinant.

Furthermore, media are also conduce to these problems. For example, Sek Loso, one of the famous rockers in Thailand and some youth especially in the suburb of Thailand admire him. He claimed that the reason of drug misuse is to compose music that is the way of rockstar. If the youth believe and follow him, a number of young drug abuse will absolutely increase. Thus, the media have contributed to these predicament. Moreover, these are still have the essential component which is the lack of parents attention. Because of family is the foremost factor of the children behavior. Almost of young drug abuse comes from defective family.

As a consequence, necessary endeavor should be taken to address these issue. Primarily, midia should be inspected particularly entertainment industry and responsible for the society. In addition, parents should be a desirable ideal for children. As the proverb said that “Like father like son”.

คราวหน้าพี่จะนำข้อแนะนำและเฉลยจาก IELTS Examiner มาฝากกันนะคะ ^^

IELTSInstitute Team

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IELTS Topic: เฉลย Essay overweight

Posted on พฤษภาคม 12, 2012 by Staff

จากหัวข้อที่นำมาฝากกันคราวที่แล้ว IELTS Topic: overweight วันนี้พี่เอาเฉลยทางด้านไวยากรณ์และคำแนะนำดีๆของ IELTS Examiner มาฝากกันค่ะ

At present, general society is concerned about nutrition and health in children and is caused by the increasing number of overweight children especially in developed nations. According to public opinion, the expanding number of fast food outlets is the first issue and the alternative opinion is that parents do not pay enough attention to children’s health. This essay will examine both sides of these perspectives, and my opinion is in favour of the former will be provided.

To begin with, fast food restaurants are shops is located almost in almost every country and they seems like to be expanding indefinitely. Moreover, fast foods is a  are popular choices for children because it has a good taste. Also the toys that are given away with the foods are persuading children to buy the foods as well. On the other hand, fast foods is are in high in cholesterol, salt and fat, which these causes can lead to the serious health problems such as high blood pressure, high cholesterol level, obesity, diabetes and so on. As a result, obese children have poor health, so they will not able to participate in activities.

On the contrary, others believe that parents are another reason that affects a children’s health. Accordingly For example, parents may focus on their work too much, which causes them to  then they do not have enough time to supervise their children. Also,  they may not don’t know how to cook and go to a fast food restaurant shop for their kids because fast food restaurants shops sell food at for very low prices. Furthermore, they may have an inadequate knowledge about in nutritionally knowledge,. which means non-plan of children foods.

From my perspective, I agree with both views that fast food outlets and parents are significant factors that influence to have a children’s well-being but parents have a more vital role than fast food shops because they can give an advice and teach their children them good eating habits.

In conclusion, fast food restaurants shop should take have more responsibility to look after ingredients their foods for young people. However, parents should take an active role in their children’s lives even though there are lots of fast food restaurants shops around the areas.

Estimate IELTS BAND Score: 6.0

IELTS Examiner’s Comments:

This was a good task two response. You had a few problems with word choice, eg. Fast food shops à restaurants. Also check your use of the verb to be, punctuation and possessives. Your argument was well written and many sentences were error free. But you still need to check your word order in some sentences and more variables will be a good idea. Good effort!

IELTSInstitute

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IELTS Topic: overweight

Posted on พฤษภาคม 7, 2012 by Staff

ielts

ช่วงนี้เริ่มเข้าสู่หน้าฝนจริงๆแล้วนะคะ น้องๆระวังสุขภาพกันด้วยนะคะ ออกจากบ้านมาเรียนที่สถาบันในช่วงนี้อย่าลืมพกร่มติดตัวกันนะคะ วันนี้พี่มี IELTS ESSAY หัวข้อ overweight มาฝากให้ลองเขียนดูค่ะ

The number of overweight children in developed countries is increasing. Some people think this is due to problems such as the growing number of fast food outlets. Others believe that parents are to blame for not looking after their children’s health. To what extent do you agree with these views?

มาลองดูตัวอย่างของน้องคนนึงที่เขียนเกี่ยวกับหัวข้อนี้กันค่ะ

At present, general society concern about nutrition and health in children is caused by the increasing number of overweight children especially in developed nations. According to public opinion, the expanding number of fast food outlets is the first issue and the alternative opinion is that parents do not pay enough attention to children’s health. This essay will examine both sides of these perspectives and my opinion is in favour of the former will be provided.

To begin with, fast food shops is located almost in every country and seems like to be expanding indefinitely. Moreover, fast foods are popular choices for children because it has good taste also the toys that are given away with foods are persuading children to buy the foods as well. On the other hand, fast foods are in high cholesterol, salt and fat, these causes lead to the serious health problems such as high blood pressure, high cholesterol level, obesity, diabetes and so on. As a result, obese children have poor health so they will not able to participate in activities.

On the contrary, others believe that parents are another reason that effect children’s health. Accordingly, parents may focus on work too much then they do not have enough time to supervise children. They don’t know how to cook and go to a fast food shop for their kids because fast food shops sell food for very low prices. Furthermore, they have an inadequate in nutritionally knowledge, which means non-plan of children foods.

From my perspective, I agree with both views that fast food outlets and parents are significant factors that influence to have children’s well-being but parents have more rival role than fast food shops because they can give an advice and teach them good eating habits.

In conclusion, fast food shop should have more responsibility to look after their foods for young people. However, parents should take an active role in their children’s lives even though there are los of fast food shops around the areas.

อย่าลืมไปลองเขียนและจับเวลากันดูนะคะ คราวหน้าพี่จะนำเฉลยและคำแนะนำดีๆจาก Examiner มาฝากเหมือนเช่นเคยค่ะ

IELTSInstitute Team

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เฉลย IELTS Topic: Working and living abroad

Posted on พฤษภาคม 2, 2012 by admin

จากตัวอย่างของครั้งที่แล้ว พี่นำเอาเฉลยพร้อมคำแนะนำดีๆจาก IELTS Examiner มาฝากน้องๆนะคะ

Reference: IELTS Topic: Working and living abroad

At present day, many people believe that taking on employment abroad is not only a great opportunity to earn more money for developing countries, but also provides a valuable experience for their life. The positive effect of learning different traditions is to take their pros and cons aspects and apply them in one’s own country. In opposition, dissimilar civilizations may lead to unsolved problems in the future. From my point of view, we can embrace both positive and negative effects of working and living abroad in our way of life.

In this modern world, it’s necessary to study foreign languages and cultures. The positive aspects of getting to know another new society is to utilize new knowledges to improve the bad cultural aspects of our lives. For instance, disciplined Japanese wake up early every morning, go to their appointment on time, and so on.

It’s true that learning other traditions which differ from our own may lead to better lives but there are not always. The possible negative aspects from learning dissimilar traditions is that foreign way of life doesn’t fit to our own lifestyle because they are in unlike in nature, community, society and the list goes on; that‘s may lead to very difficult problems. For example, European culture that allows women to get divorced and they can get married at any time which is different from Thailand. Thai elders could not accepted this culture but young citizens follow this new freedom and begin to have a gap with their own parents.
In my opinion, the probable pitfalls are affect society more than the pros and cons effects because every nation has their own culture that is unlikely from others, and thus, one tradition may be appropriate for one country only.

Approximate IELTS score: 5.0

IELTS Examiner Comments: The grammar still lacks accuracy and I suggest you learn from the corrections. Your first body paragraph needs more development (ie. your example of Japanese needs to show how it can change a Thai worker while abroad).  Be careful not to write a long intro. Keep it clear and continue to expand on your ideas. An example can be about someone who you know has worked or lived aboard. On the exam, use real examples!

Posted in Let's talk about IELTS | Tagged | ไม่ให้ใส่ความเห็น

IELTS Topic: Working and living abroad

Posted on เมษายน 28, 2012 by Staff

วันนี้พี่นำหัวข้อน่าสนใจที่น้องท่านหนึ่งเขียนมาส่งอาจารย์ เป็นตัวอย่างที่ดีสำหรับคนที่ไม่เคยเขียนหัวข้อแนวนี้มาก่อนนะคะ มาลองดูกันเลยดีกว่าค่ะ

Working and living abroad helps us to know other cultures well. How far do you think working aboard has good or bad impacts on our cultural lives?

มาลองดูไอเดียที่น้องเขียนส่งเข้ามากันดีกว่านะคะ แล้วคราวหน้าพี่จะนำเอาเฉลยของ IELTS Examiner มาให้ดูกันค่ะ

In present day, many people believe that working abroad is not only a great opportunities to earn more money from developing countries, but also an experience for their life. The positive effect of learning different traditions is to take their pros and cons aspects and apply on their own country. In opposite site, dissimilar civilization may lead to unsolved problem in the future. From my point of view, we can forecast both positive and negative effects of working and living aboard on our way of life.

In this modern world, it’s necessary to study foreign language and cultures. The positive aspects of getting to know other new society is to take new knowledges to improve on our bad cultural lives. For instance Japanese disciplines like wake up early every morning, go to appointment before the time and so on.

It’s true that learning other tradition which differ from our own may lead to better lives but there are not always, The possible negative aspects from learning dissimilar tradition is that other’s way of life doesn’t fit to our own lifestyle because they are in unlike nature, community, society and the list go on, that’s may let to very difficult problems. For example European culture that allowed women who get divorce can get married at any time which different from Thai country, old people could not accepted this culture but young citizens follow this culture and begin to have a gap with their own parents.

In my opinion, the probable pitfalls are affect society more than pros and cons effects because every nation have their own culture that unlikely from others and also one tradition may appropriate for one country only.

IELTSInstitute Team

Posted in IELTS Essay Sample | Tagged , | ไม่ให้ใส่ความเห็น